A SPECIAL OCCASION
(orig. published in the L.A.Times)
A
Story to Live By ~ by Ann Wells
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau
and
lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip.
This
is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.
It
was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace.
The
price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.
"Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York,
at
least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it.
She
was saving it for a special occasion.
Well,
I guess this is the occasion."
He
took the slip from me
and
put it on the bed
with
the other clothes
we
were taking to the mortician.
His
hands lingered on the soft material for a moment,
then
he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
"Don't
ever save anything for a special occasion.
Every
day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days
that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores
that
follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning
to
California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives.
I
thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done.
I
thought about the things that she had done without
realizing
that they were special.
I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
I'm
reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring
the
view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending
more
time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever
possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor,
not
endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special
event - such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped,
the
first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it.
My
theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one
small
bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume
for
special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks
have
noses that function as well as my party-going friends'.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip
on
my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want
to
see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have
done
had
she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take
for
granted. I think she would have called family members and a few
close
friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize
and
mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would
have
gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food.
I'm
guessing - I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew
that
my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good
Friends
whom I was going to get in touch with - someday.
Angry
because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to
write-one
of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my
husband
and daughter often enough how much I truly love them.
I'm
trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save
anything
that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes,
I
tell myself that it is special.
Every day,
every minute,
every breath
truly is...
A GIFT.
So, remember to
Dance like nobody's watching, and
Love like it's never going to hurt.
